Keeping to a regular posting schedule is tough when you're called back to work for full-time heavy lifting while also trying to maintain your own self-care.
Anyway, without further ado/excuses/apologies, let's (finally) continue down the road with step two.
STEP TWO: FIND YOUR TRAIL GUIDES
"But Blogger, I thought we were mapping the road not taken? How can we have trail guides for that?" We start with what every other trail guide mapping unknown territory did: a compass. No one's singular experience with trauma/mental health/neuro disorders/ et al. is ever exactly the same as anyone else's, but they share a lot of common themes and feelings. One of the biggest shared factors is the feeling that we are alone, despite being surrounded by people who love us, want to help us and desperately care about us. But bad mental health can cause us to ignore or flat-out disbelieve that these people are actually helping/truly love us/whatever, because the mental illness goblins are dickish little shits. And the thing is, the people who love us can't do the bulk of the work that needs doing. They can support us through thick and thin even when we're lashing out because our demons tell us to, but ultimately, we're the only ones who can see our own road, and we have to put in the effort to map it. The people who love me helped keep me alive, but I had to make the effort to live. This is where our guides come in. Your guides do not have to be real people, or even people at all. In fact, it's probably better if they're book/movie/TV/game characters and/or people you don't know. Most of the tough stuff is gonna be taking place in your head, so you need your mental guides to fit the compass mold you need them to. If it's someone you know in real life and one day their behavior contradicts that of your mental guide's, it's gonna be hard to reconcile. This is why, in my opinion, the wisdom shouldn't be "don't meet your heroes" but instead "learn to separate people from the characters they play." I've mentioned before that Alice is my main base camp and Evanescence is my secondary base camp. The American McGee characterizations of Alice, the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat (the plush version of which is snuggled up to me for emotional support as I type) are a few of my character guides. A non-character/non-person guide is Evanescence music (which I'm currently listening to in an attempt to ground myself. It's been a day, y'all). You can have as many guides as you need/want. Hell, I'm constantly finding new ones (the show Wynonna Earp has been a guide from the first time I watched it), or having characters I admire end up rising through the ranks to become guides. For example, Doctor Who has long been a source of inspiration and hope for me, but the following video put the Thirteenth Doctor firmly in "guide" category:
Honestly, it's probably better to have more guides than not. The landscape of the mental road changes a lot, sometimes for no other reason than because it can. So if one compass/guide doesn't work in a specific situation, another might.
Your guides' experiences, real or fictional, do not have to match yours. Again, everyone's road and everyone's darkness is different in its own way, however similar they all may seem. But so long as your guide resonates with you and speaks to you and helps you work your way forward in positive, healthy ways, then let them be your guide. You do not have to justify your guides to anyone. That includes yourself. You don't have to share them with anyone, either. Hell, I definitely have a few guides that maybe one person - if any - knows about. You have a right to be selective about what in your head you do and don't share with various people. Your head should be like Vegas: what happens there stays there unless you choose to share it. I'm choosing to share some of my guides and experiences because I hope they'll help others, but there will always be some things I keep to myself, or between me and my doctor/me and those close to me. If you are comfortable sharing some guides, feel free to sound off in the comments below. In Step 3, we'll take our first steps mapping the road. Until then, I'm sharing one of my power songs with you. It was used in a promo for Dragon Age: Inquisition (one of my most favorite franchises), and the lyrics are pretty appropriate here, I think. Until next time, keep on keeping on.
(Are there prettier videos of the song? Absolutely. But this one has the lyrics for the deaf/HOH members of our studio audience, so this is the one I'm using.)
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AuthorA strange little girl who's great with typing but not with speaking. Archives
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